When people spread rumors it can really hurt. When your friend accuses you of talking behind his/her back what do you do?
Trust is super important between friends. When a friend betrays you with gossip, it creates doubt and hurt feelings. If the conflict isn’t addressed quickly, friends can turn to enemies. Here are some suggestions about how to handle gossiping friends:
Address the issue head on. When someone gossips about you, instead of getting angry ask questions. You might find that there is simply a miscommunication.
Work as a team. If you didn’t say or do anything wrong. Don’t be afraid to get your friends together at one time. Work out your problems as a group so that everyone one has a chance to speak.
Try not to take things too personal. Rumors are hurtful. But you have to remember that everyone makes mistakes. Your friends are human and even though we have high expectations, we have to accept our friends for who they are.
Give it some time. Once you guys have talked, don’t write your friend off. Give him or her some time to cool off. You’re angry now but chances are if you wait a little while your friend will forgive you quicker than you think.
by Samyra Lane
of The Samyra and Shayla Show (youtube)
I learned about my mother’s drug addiction on a warm summer day. I was nine. It was a picture perfect afternoon.The sun was out, the birds were chirping and kids were screaming and running happily around a play ground. I sat on a bench near by watching them as the sounds of George Michaels “One More Try” played on someone’s boom box. The haunting melody cause a lump to form in the back of my throat. I couldn’t believe we were back here. At Catherine street shelter. As I fought to cover my eyes from the blinding sun, I found the courage to ask: “Why we don’t we have a home?” There was a long pause and then something surprising. My mother admitted to being a recovering drug addict. She sad we were homeless because she’d relapsed. I understood what she meant but only in an abstract way. I mean I knew her actions were wrong and I knew her actions were brought on by some external event but I didn’t know what that meant for me as a child. Some how her words had set me free. Free from blaming myself for everything that was happening. But I also knew at that moment that I was alone. No longer could I rely on her to do what was in my best interest. From that moment forward, I became an adult.
So you and your crew got together and decided she was no longer a friend. She violated major girl code and deserves to be booted out of the group, right? So you all agree she’s “out” and read your ex-friend her rights. You swear never to speak to the traitor again. Then you wake up the next day and realize your whole crew, went behind your back, and made amends with your enemy. Now your crew is friends with your enemy and you’re left pouting on the sidelines mad as hell. Where’s the loyalty? Right!
Don’t feel alone. The truth is not all friends are loyal. Some people don’t take loyalty seriously. I call these people “free spirits” they just go where the wind takes them. One minute they’re swearing off and enemy and the next minute they’re the best of friends.
Yes, it’s annoying to think that your friend has your back only to find out later, they don’t. But it’s normal. There’s a disloyal friend in every group. It’s not a personal attack on your integrity. Your friend is just doing what comes naturally. Remember, just because she’s your friend doesn’t mean she’s loyal.